Building Bridges

Without making any person or situation apparent in this blog, I will speak plainly but also apprehensively. I don't have this blog to point out other's faults or make myself look better...it's mostly for me to put my feelings into writing since I really have no one to vent to at the end of the day. It used to be Charlie, but honestly, how trivial does my bad day sound when you compare it to his? So I try not to vent about much to him. I have great friends who listen, too, but honestly, everyone has their own stuff to contend with. So, I write things here because this way, I get them off my chest, and if people happen to read what I say, at least I can feel like I "told" someone.

Recent things have come to light that I wasn't aware of before. I guess that is where the saying "comes to light" stems. I was in the dark before. And after some searching, I came up with this quote by Lao Tzu that I think summed the situation up quite nicely:

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare and compete, everybody will respect you."

I think a healthy dose of friendly competition is a healthy thing. When people run races with friends, a nice bit of trying to out-run the other person is good for both. It's friendly. It's motivating. That's not the type of comparing and competing I'm talking about. I'm referring to people who seem to have to "one-up" everything you do. We all know a person like that. I've just had it to the gills with the person(s) competing with our family. Charlie and I work very hard for what we have. When we bought the Cadillac brand new, yes, it was a splurge. But we could afford it and had the money to back it up. When we decided to have both of our children, it was because we wanted them. Yes, I flipped very quickly with Riley. I went from thinking Ethan would be an only child to trying for Riley in the span of two months. But we both were on the same page and we both wanted to add to our happiness. When we bought this house, we bought it in anticipation of having another child and spending the next 5-7 years here. We don't do things for the sake of appearance. Do we have nice things? Absolutely. We do quite well for ourselves on one income. But I think he and I will both say that we have the things we do because we WANT them, not because someone else HAS them.

That being said, I also don't like to mention to people what we have. I don't find a burning desire to tell people how much money we make or whatever. We do fine. We're not living in the lap of luxury, nor are we living paycheck to paycheck. I don't care to know one way or the other how much money you make either. It's none of my business, the same as it's none of "yours."

Please don't complain to me about miserable your cirucmstances are and do nothing to change them. Don't be miserable and expect me to accompany you. I have enough to do with my time. And for Pete's sake, be HONEST with yourself and others around you. Don't say one thing to Charlie and me that is the farthest thing from the truth and flip it around to make yourself look better. Because in the end, it makes us respect you even less. No one has a clean face ALL the time. We're all faulted. I'll be honest; there are times when a friend or someone I know gets something and I think, "Wow, wouldn't that be nice!" There are probably even times when I'm jealous of it. But I don't make the other person feel "guilty" about having such a nice item when I can't afford it or it's not in my means. I don't try to belittle their success and try to trivialize it by having my own thing to compare it to. Just be happy for the other person. It's possible to want what someone else has while still being supportive and happy for THEIR success. Ugh. I just can't stand it!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry. I feel a little better now. I hate that the last several blogs have had a negative light. I have so much to be grateful for. I have so many great things going on in my life that seem to get overshadowed by such insignificant THINGS that I cannot control. I cannot control other people (no matter how much I wish I could sometimes!). I can only control myself and my attitude. I just wish, oh I don't know. I just wish that things weren't the way they were right now. But wishing doesn't do a thing for me. I just have to get this type of stuff off my chest so I don't let it affect my everyday life and my relationships. I can't control it, so I just have to let it go. Acknowledge it for what it is, and let it go. Let go, and let God.