Where did he go???

My whole life I have aspired to be a SAHM. I am doing it. But I feel like I'm failing miserably. As Ethan enters more into toddlerhood, he has seemed to morph into this strange being that mostly wants to test, rather than love, me. The past 2 weeks have been daunting. He throws himself on the ground, doesn't answer or listen when I tell him not to run into the street outside of our complex, he throws food and toys, and it seems no punishment I conjur up is helping. I know he desires attention from his father more than anything in this world, and whenever Charlie is home, he is an animal. He is climbing on furniture, strewing his toys about the apartment, jumping on us, and telling us "no" at every turn. I know this is all typical behavior. The 2-year-old status was not coined "terrible twos" for no reason. But I feel like I'm at my wits end. It is all I can do to keep from just screaming at him. Nothing helps. And screaming isn't going to help anymore than a spanking. The child does not respond to spanking, or time out, or having his toys taken away....NOTHING. He's so defiant. And he gets that from his father. Yes, I'd say Charlie holding his breath until he passed out when he was 3 a form of defiance!! I was such a calm child. I read books, played with Legos, just chilled. This child is turning my skin inside out and to top all that off....I found a white hair the other day. Oh yeah. It's affirmation that my child is crazy!!!

But I love him, so I keep on going. Just love them. And then love them some more.